the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I pour the whiskey from now on
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize