Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
