This is the prime rib incident all over again
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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