at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
