listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Randomize
