WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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