i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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