Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
