Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Randomize
