i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Mom said you looked used
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
