did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
