JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
