DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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