C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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