haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
