I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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