I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
