Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I want to be your penis for a week.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
