i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Randomize
