do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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