Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I am one with the molecules
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
