i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
