Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
no you cant smoke seaweed
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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