went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Randomize
