I wanna bring you to show and tell
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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