I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
