I wish I could punch you in the face.
I just saw a hot homeless man
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
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