Do you still have your period?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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