On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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