The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
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