I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I love you.
Bad choice
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