He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
