I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
