Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
where are my eyebrows?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
