Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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