we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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