I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
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