the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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