I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
