We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Randomize
