She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
