in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
birth control should be required to get into college
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Randomize
