Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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