How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
