How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
