someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize