lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
