Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
