Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize