fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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