Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
