Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
