I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
