My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
she looked like the before picture.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
