his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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