you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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