This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
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