Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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